For those who do not already know my journey into bilingual life has not been easy.
Recently I was feeling particularly sorry for myself and I said to God, ‘why can’t you just divinely give me the gift of fluent Spanish? I have been trying really hard and it would be great if I just woke up one day and was fluent.’ Now, I still fully believe that God could do this, His response however was, as usual, exactly what I needed to hear. ‘Azaria, why don’t you start using it more.’
Ah, okay God, touché. That put me firmly back in my place.
Of course, I have been speaking Spanish every day, more and more, but I had also been putting off starting a new girl’s group for a few reasons, one being fear because it would be me leading it all in Spanish. I had a lot of self-doubt and worried that I would struggle to lead a session with a group of children in Spanish for over an hour.
But God’s challenge was the push I needed.
After spending some time in prayer and preparing myself to take the jump I talked with our centre coordinator and she thought it was a great idea. She too had felt that a group for the older girls was a necessary and something God had put on her heart, but wasn’t sure who could lead it. God’s gentle confirmation gave me peace about starting the group and helped take away some of my fear and self-doubt.
The girls are aged 12+, a very delicate age for any girl but even more so for ones living in their context and with their family situations and backgrounds. I see it as a privilege to be able to create a space for them where they will learn about God, have activities just for them and get to talk about relevant topics and issues.
We are still in the early stages of creating a space where they feel completely comfortable and I have their confidence, but I know God has big plans for these young women.
One thing that has been very special to see so far is them being able to be quiet in a place away from responsibilities, other children, the noise of life. They are able to just relax, listen to praise and worship and engage in creative activities.
The girls are beginning to feel comfortable in this safe space where they can connect and feel valued as individuals. As it is just for them, they receive dedicated time to share where they might otherwise not.
I have felt God’s peace resting over them, enabling them to rest and opening their hearts little by little to Him.
I have big hopes and dreams for this group, for each and every one of the girls included in it. Very quickly the fear surrounding my own self-doubt and ability with Spanish was stripped away as God reminded me again, that it isn’t about me. How marvellous. I couldn’t be more pleased to know that it isn’t about me at all, not even a little bit. It is about what God wants to do in the lives of these girls and Him using me, and others, to create space for Him to work.